I will remember you
by i-heart-ice-cream
Summary: Japans reponse to the death of one of the most important people to him. how will he handle the situation without him? warning charater death. germanyx japan


Title: I will remember you Paring: Gerpan Disclaimer: I own nothing at all NOTE TO PEOPLE: Character death. You have to listen to this song as you read this it makes for a better effect.  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kiku stands in front of an open casket he eyes reflect his sadness but he refuses to cry as he looks at Ludwig laying there. He looks so peaceful almost as if he was asleep. He looks at Feliciano for a moment as he watches Antonio comfort his crying brother before looking back at his boyfriend. His mind slowly wanders away from what he sees infront of him and onto his memories of him.<p>I will remember you Will you remember me?/

He thought that everything would be fine when he had left his house yesterday and can't help but to wonder what happened to him. He was smiling earlier and he could tell that he was happy.

/Don't let your life pass you by/

He looks back at his crying friend and he knows that he can't say anything that would really help. In the corner he can see that even GIlbert is crying as Roderich attempts to comfort him even though he is also crying silent tears. Elizaveta sits next to her husband in silent support. He can't keep looking at the sad face and he goes to his memories for comfort.

/Weep not for the memories/

The only memories that he can bring himself to think about are the good times that he had with Ludwig. They had had bad times but he didn't want to remember those. Not right now anyway, there would be time for that later.

/Remember the good times that we had?  
>I let them slip away from us when things got bad

His first memory that he can remember is the first time that they met. Ludwig had been talking with Feliciano when he walked over and the german's blue eyes overtook his own brown ones. They became almost instant friends thanks to Feliciano.

/How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun/

This memory make him smile and he remembers how as they got closer he wanted to be with him as much as possible. How he wanted the german's attention for so long because he loved him and the other didn't know at the time.

/Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one/

At the thought he winces slightly. The memory reminds him of how he will never be able to have the taller hold him in his arms again, or how he will never be able to speak to him or love him. Wait, he will always love Ludwig, it's just he will never see him again. That is what makes him sad. He doesn't want to lose him, but he knows that he already has.

/I will remember you Will you remember me?/

The warm days that they use to spend together doing whatever came to mind was a definite comfort to him. He couldn't even begin to count how many days they would spent just sitting together in the sun, just the two of them. These moments were something that he didn't want to have end at the time, but now they meant even more than that. He remembers how Ludwig would wipe away his tears when he was sad, and how he would brush his hand over his cheek and he would blush a deep red.

/Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories/

He remembers all the phone calls they would make to each other in the middle of the night, half complaining that they couldn't sleep and the other would laugh. They would end up talking sometime well into the night, and occasionally into the morning hours. He looked around at the sad faces and thought about how they must have seen this all unfold into a romantic relationship, and it probably didn't make sense at first went you looked at it from the outside.

/I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standin' on the edge of something much too deep/

He smiled a little for the first time since he arrived here at how they would always feel the need to say so much to each other, but never found the proper words to use. Instead settling for the semi-awkward silence that at the same time felt so comfortable and right. Each one of them blushing at how childish it would seem to not be able to put even a basic sentence together.

/It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard/

He felt his eyes prick with tears as he tried to supress them. He remembered promising Ludwig that he would never cry over him no matter what the situation was. The least he could do was keep that promise.

/But I will remember you Will you remember me?/

He looked away from the casket before him not wanting to live in the present moment. Knowing that if he continued to look at him laying there that he would end up crying like Feliciano. He looked at his friend and was relieved to see that he wasn't crying as bad anymore but he could still see tears in his eyes. Gilbert had wiped away his tears claiming as best he could that crying was too unawesome and the his brother was officially unawesome for dying. But everyone there could see that his words were hollow.

/Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories/

The first thing that came to mind as he faded back into his mind was how he was so unsure of his feelings for so long because of how he didn't want to loose his friend if he didn't reciprocate his feelings. He wanted to keep things nice and simple, unlike how things had gotten with his older brother Yao. Things were too complicated between them and he didn't want to do that to Ludwig he already had too much stress dealing with Feliciano.

/I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose/

Before he had met him he felt alone like no one gave him a chance to be himself. Even in the big family that he had, no one completely understood him. Then when he had met Ludwig he understood the black haired boy and that meant a lot to him. That they had a special connection that made both of them feel complete and loved, putting in all they could to make the other happy.

/Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light/

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of a soft hiccup only to see Feliciano standing next to him tears stained his cheeks and he was trying his best to smile even though tears still threatened to overtake him. "Don't worry Kiku, he isn't really gone. He is still with us in here." the small brunette placed a hand over his chest where his heart is.  
>"Hai, I suppose you are correct." he didn't meet the others tear-filled eyes.<br>"Ve, do you think Ludwig is waiting for us?"

/And I will remember you Will you remember me?/

"Hey specs stop crying it's soooo unawesome." he paused a moment before he continued, all annoyance gone from his voice replaced with sadness and seriousness. Kiku and Feliciano watching from there place in front of the coffin. "I know for a fact my brother wouldn't want us to be sad over this, he would want us to keep going with our lives."  
>Roderich wiped away the tears on his face, taking his glasses in hand to clean them of the residue."Ja. You are right."<p>

/Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories/

The two boys turn back to the coffin in front of them and for the first time Kiku looks at the smaller boy next to him. "Feliciano-kun, I think he is waiting for us right now." the small boy looked at him with a small smile on his face.

/And I will remember you Will you remember me?/

The brown haired boy walked away a few moments later as he wiped away the last of his tears, Elizaveta walking over to hug him. Kiku couldn't help but to think that maybe the Italian boy was right that Ludwig was waiting for him.

/Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories/

He looked back down at Ludwig's body adorned in his military dress uniform and he realized that he couldn't hold back the tears anymore as they escaped down his face. His silent tears unnoticed by the people around him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and for a moment he thought it was the German he was so use to having around, but realized that that was impossible. Turning his head he saw his older brother Yao standing there.  
>"It will be alright, aru."he said as he let his brother cry on his shoulder.<p>

/Weep not for the memories/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bon App tit: This is for my sister Anonymous Quincy. I hope you like it. sorry it took so long but I did say I'd get it done and I did. 


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